48 Years of Marriage

My husband and I had our 48^th anniversary last month. A few ideas on how to make a marriage last:

Becoming one in the Biblical sense of the word doesn’t mean you feel the same way about everything. For example: You may have very different taste in movies. Dan goes for the adventure type of movies—when a movie is “R” rated, he’s disappointed. We don’t see “R” movies for any reason. At the same time, I relish the idea because I don’t like that type of movie with a few exceptions—Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and maybe a couple more. I know when to close my eyes like when Indiana Jones and What’s Her Name tie themselves to a pole. I don’t open them until the music changes, or when Luke falls into the pit with the monster.

It’s rare indeed when we both order the same thing at a restaurant.

We do agree on politics with very few exceptions, and even then it’s in the details, not the overall scope.

Having the same spiritual goals is imperative. Do you read scriptures and pray as a family? Maybe not quite imperative, but it can be extremely difficult if you aren’t on the same wavelength.

When you come together in marriage, bring some of your family traditions, and allow your husband/wife to do the same. There is no right or wrong. Christmas can be especially difficult. If you both feel strongly about how your family did things, it can lead to arguments. Either one will dominate and the other will feel put upon, or you will end up with the same fight every year. It's also VERY important to develop new traditions that don't belong to either family. These are your very own.

Both people need to give some in all aspects. Wives, if your husband is a huge sports fan, ask enough questions that you can follow the game with at least moderate interest. Husbands, your wife will be much more willing to attend sporting events if you will take her to the type of entertainment she likes.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. The most important thing is to work together, and spend time together. Also have time when you do individual things. The children will one day leave and you don’t want to be living with a stranger.

Resolutions

Mondays come fast. I had something planned for today, but didn’t make the time to prepare it last week, so I’m on to plan B, my opinion on making New Year’s resolutions:

Making goals is a good thing. The start of a new year is a good time to do so, and to reflect on the ones you made the previous year; however, you can make goals or re-fresh old ones any time.

When you slip, don’t tell yourself you are a failure. Start again, that day. For example, if your goal is to exercise daily, and miss a day, don’t give up. Go for it the next day. (Okay, I’m going to do my Yoga as soon as I post this.)

Without goals, we can drift with a vague “I’ll do better” attitude. That doesn’t help much. At least for myself, I need to be more specific than that, something measurable. Kick discouragement out the door.

One example: I made the resolution to get regular on this blog January 1^st, but didn’t get to it until last week. I could mope and make even more excuses, but I won’t. Here it is. See you next week.