48 Years of Marriage

My husband and I had our 48^th anniversary last month. A few ideas on how to make a marriage last:

Becoming one in the Biblical sense of the word doesn’t mean you feel the same way about everything. For example: You may have very different taste in movies. Dan goes for the adventure type of movies—when a movie is “R” rated, he’s disappointed. We don’t see “R” movies for any reason. At the same time, I relish the idea because I don’t like that type of movie with a few exceptions—Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and maybe a couple more. I know when to close my eyes like when Indiana Jones and What’s Her Name tie themselves to a pole. I don’t open them until the music changes, or when Luke falls into the pit with the monster.

It’s rare indeed when we both order the same thing at a restaurant.

We do agree on politics with very few exceptions, and even then it’s in the details, not the overall scope.

Having the same spiritual goals is imperative. Do you read scriptures and pray as a family? Maybe not quite imperative, but it can be extremely difficult if you aren’t on the same wavelength.

When you come together in marriage, bring some of your family traditions, and allow your husband/wife to do the same. There is no right or wrong. Christmas can be especially difficult. If you both feel strongly about how your family did things, it can lead to arguments. Either one will dominate and the other will feel put upon, or you will end up with the same fight every year. It's also VERY important to develop new traditions that don't belong to either family. These are your very own.

Both people need to give some in all aspects. Wives, if your husband is a huge sports fan, ask enough questions that you can follow the game with at least moderate interest. Husbands, your wife will be much more willing to attend sporting events if you will take her to the type of entertainment she likes.

I could go on and on, but I won’t. The most important thing is to work together, and spend time together. Also have time when you do individual things. The children will one day leave and you don’t want to be living with a stranger.

Resolutions

Mondays come fast. I had something planned for today, but didn’t make the time to prepare it last week, so I’m on to plan B, my opinion on making New Year’s resolutions:

Making goals is a good thing. The start of a new year is a good time to do so, and to reflect on the ones you made the previous year; however, you can make goals or re-fresh old ones any time.

When you slip, don’t tell yourself you are a failure. Start again, that day. For example, if your goal is to exercise daily, and miss a day, don’t give up. Go for it the next day. (Okay, I’m going to do my Yoga as soon as I post this.)

Without goals, we can drift with a vague “I’ll do better” attitude. That doesn’t help much. At least for myself, I need to be more specific than that, something measurable. Kick discouragement out the door.

One example: I made the resolution to get regular on this blog January 1^st, but didn’t get to it until last week. I could mope and make even more excuses, but I won’t. Here it is. See you next week.

Starting up Again

I’m back. I had major computer problems (hard drive crashed). After I finally got a new one, I had difficulties with it and one of my sons-in-law fixed several issues, but he didn’t have limitless time. Who does? The holidays hit, and I knew that when my computer geek son came down for Christmas he would be able to fix the rest. He did, but I still kept procrastinating starting up the blog again.

How easy it is for us to put things off. “I’m already behind; one more week won’t matter, next week for sure! Everybody else lets their blog go for awhile.”

January is almost over. NO more procrastinating. Monday Morning Grandma is back! I enjoy writing this blog. Once I have one of my novels accepted, I will revert this blog to concentrate on my writing. I plan to create another one titled Monday Morning Grandma and keep it up. I like the freedom this venue affords, I can write or post pictures about anything I want. 

Here are a few pictures of the day we got snow. People who have lived here 30 + years said they haven't ever seen it snow. Enjoy.

Monday Morning Grandma--Small Stuff

Lap top is in the shop, and I didn't know I could only access this part of blog from this screen name. Sigh. I want my lap top back. At least I figured it out today.

It’s interesting to think of the small ways others have touched our lives. They teach us lifelong habits. A few of mine are below. As you can tell, my brother Bob taught me a lot. The important, serious things I’ve learned along the way belong on a different post.

Bob taught me: The correct way to eat an apple is to circle around the middle first, then eat the top and bottom parts. When you butter toast, be sure to cover every crumb to the crust. The best way to get every bit of corn on the cob is to lift the kernels out one row at a time with your bottom teeth. (I don’t do that anymore because it takes too much time.) I didn’t realize until this year when we visited him I also learned how to eat a sandwich—crust first. That gets rid of the crust then you can eat what he calls “dessert” or the middle with all of the goodness and without the crust.

This isn’t just about my brother; I learned habits from others as well:

I remember having lunch with some high school friends when they insisted I try ketchup on my French fries.

I learned to be cynical about commercials from a high school friend.

I now only use ½ of a can of water when warming up canned condensed soup (more flavor). I learned that when going to junior college at institute of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I won’t bore you with any more. I’ll bet you can think of people who have influenced you in small ways.

Monday Morning Grandma: Food

Sorry I'm a day late, but my computer is having hiccups. 

Food: We all eat. Most of us want to lose weight. We know we need to eat healthy. What to do, what to do?

Let’s see what the “experts” say:

High carb

Low carb

High protein

Vegetarian

Vegan

Meat is the best source for protein

Gluten free

Wheat is the staff of life

Drink milk

Avoid dairy

Avoid 5 fruits that make you fat

Sugar is poison or a drug

The list goes on and on …

In my biology class I learned sugar does not turn into starch then fat. Why would doctors test for sugar levels by handing you an empty container if it’s stored as fat and not eliminated? Sugar and fat combo is a problem—burn sugar, store fat. Studies using sugar and placebo prove sugar does not make children hyper. (How do they react when they get a toy they’ve wanted?) Sugar does cause cavities, and replaces nutritious food, so sparingly is in order.

My mom drank so much carrot juice her skin, especially the palms of her hands, turned orange.

Moderation is in order.

Sure there are special diets for certain ailments, and stay away from foods you are allergic to.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I try to follow the Word of Wisdom which is found in the 89^th section of the Doctrine & Covenants some basics:

Abstain from tobacco, alcoholic beverages (also included by modern day leaders: illegal drugs, yes that means marijuana), tea, & coffee. Consume: wholesome herbs, fruits, meat sparingly, & grain.

I use this as my guide when looking at special diets. 

Monday Morning Grandma--Update on My Writing

My writing is coming along. I’m waiting for the edit of Hidden Heritage. Escape from Fire is finished and sitting on the back burner simmering for a couple of weeks. Car Crash is started, and waiting for me to work on when I get the other 2 re-edited. So I think today I’m going to go back to my semi-autobiography that I dabble in occasionally. It’s about growing up in the 50’s. It’s my life, but it’s amazing how much research I need to do. For now, I’m using real names, but I’ll have to change the names and enough things readers won’t know who I’m writing about because there is no way to get friends and foes permission. Current events seep in as part of the story. The first election I remember knowing about was when Eisenhower became president. See what I mean about needing to do research? I remember reading about Univac, the first computer in a pamphlet at school. I think it was called Junior Scholastic. What year did those and other things happen? I’ll also be mentioning music, movies and such.

Monday Morning Grandma--General Conference

After such an inspiring General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I feel the need to mention a few things that inspired me: Just random thoughts without designating who said what because I’m not good at that. I need to redouble my efforts in reading the scriptures daily. I’ve been doing fairly well, but I need to do it every day, even if it means going to bed a few minutes later if I haven’t made time earlier. Same for getting my physical health the best it can be. (One example, if I really don’t have time to go for a walk, a couple of 15 or 20 minutes of walking around the house is better than doing nothing.) Walking where Jesus walked is less important than walking as Jesus walked. Trying to please others before pleasing God is inverting the 1^st and 2^nd great commandments. It’s hard to pinpoint one, but a few talks reminded me about the importance of taking the sacrament. I plan to make changes in my thoughts at that sacred time. So much more, but I know my readers don’t want a long dialogue.